Gaseous Planets

I was not a happy guy for much of yesterday, and I think it’s mostly my Mommy’s fault. Yesterday morning I slept peacefully and was my usual perfectly behaved self. By the afternoon, however, I was feeling irritable and out of sorts. I could only manage a few minutes of sleep at a time before becoming grouchy and irritable. Both my parents were a little worried about this abrupt change in my behavior. By the evening, it was obvious the cause of my discomfort – a bad case of gas. Unfortunately, there is no Gas-X or other way to alleviate this condition, so I just had to kind of suffer through it, but I let my parents know that I was not happy about the situation. Now, as to the cause of this, I have two theories:

Theory 1 – The Burrito Hypothesis

While shopping for yet more goodies for me, my Mommy stopped off at the Buena Burriteria for a lovely burrito. My theory is that the impact of the assorted Mexican spices and pinto beans in her milk was anything but buena for me. I think it should be called the mala burriteria.

Theory 2 – The Three Musketeers Hypothesis

After the burrito, my Mommy came home and had a 3 Musketeers bar. For my sake, she’s been staying away from chocolate since the hospital stressed the problems of gassiness this could cause for me. Well, the temptation proved irresistible (I know how that can be). It felt like Porthos, Athos, and whatever the third guy’s name is were having a swordfight inside my tummy. Or more accurately, were discharging considerable musketry. Yikes.

By midnight I had more or less settled down, and I’m feeling much better this morning. There’s a lesson here somewhere.