Monday, January 31, 2005

Aidan Court: Abstracts from Recent Decisions

Case No. 2005-02
People v. Elmo

The People's case was twofold. First, the people contended that Elmo was not an animal. Second, the people contended that Elmo could make a reasonable individual "a little bit nervous." Therefore, it was argued, Elmo should be banished.

The defense stipulated to the fact that Elmo is not an animal. However, in rebuttal the defense pointed out that Elmo, being a monster, was not a person either and, in view of People v. Ernie and People v. Dapper Dan the case should be dismissed. On the second charge, the defense offered expert witness testimony from Mommy showing that Elmo was a "sweetheart" and that his high, squeaky voice could not reasonably make anyone nervous. The defense suggested that the people are confusing Elmo with more "nerve-inducing" creatures such as Nordy.

After hearing the testimony, Judge Aidan pointed out that Elmo's animal-ness was imaterial citing the recent decisions of People v. Piggy and People v. Little Piggy and hence not, per se, grounds for dismissal. Despite expert witness testimony to the contrary, The court, citing personal experience, was persuaded by the arguments of the prosecution pointing out that high squeaky voices can make reasonably people nervous again (In re: People v. Piggy) where the court found that Piggy had a high voice and that his voice was also occasionally squeaky.

The court sided with the plaintiff and sentenced Elmo to banishment. Elmo was remanded Elmo to the custody of the Sergeant at Arms, Daddy.

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